4.03.2012

Day 316

Well today was just delightful, I suppose.  I woke up, took a shower, had some eggs, then went to work.  I need to remember to stop by the store tomorrow after class because I'm almost out of butter.  I also wish that real butter was as cheap as margarine because butter tastes so much better.


When I got to the computer lab I actually did some work!  I cleaned off the dry-erase boards.  I'm such a hero.  Then I studied probability until class.  Today marks my official start of studying for the exam.  I'm so excited about this...  I decided to start back in chapter 1 and start doing the end of chapter questions again.  Hopefully I'll do better at them the second time through.


During life con we went over the last part of the midterm that Dr. Foley finally graded.  Apparently we were all off for one of the answers... so he think he might have made a mistake.  I'm pretty sure we all used the formulae that he gave us... so I'm not entirely certain how our answers were so different.  Oh well.  Then we went over a few of the homework questions that might be on the quiz tomorrow.  Dr. Foley realized how long some of those questions are, so he removed some possible questions.  Thankfully.  Some of those were pretty long and tedious.


After life con I went to go work out with Dustin.  My chest was pretty sore afterwards, but I survived.  Then I went to my office and had lunch.  It was tasty.  After lunch I went back to the computer lab for my allotted 30 minutes before a class meets in there.


When I got back to my apartment I got a snack because I was still pretty hungry.  Some days a salad and an apple just doesn't do it for me.  Then I took a shower.  When I was all nice and clean again I did some more probability.


I made tacos for dinner with a side of Spanish rice.  It turned out really well.  I like tacos because they aren't difficult to make and are pretty filling.  I definitely had a lot going on though, between browning the meat, stirring/adding things to the rice, and cutting lettuce.  But it all turned out well, I felt.  I ate too much but it was really tasty.  After dinner I cleaned up and did some dishes.  They seriously never end...


After dinner I played a game for a bit.  I got to the final boss, got frustrated by the game mechanics/awful camera angles, and decided to be done with it.  So I talked with Clifton for a bit, watched some youtube videos, and other productive things of that nature.


Earlier today I had a thought and I'm going to share it with you now.  I almost forgot, but here we go!  I've come to realize that my perception of life does not really allow for perfection.  I like to consider myself a mathematician, even though true mathematicians would frown upon my use of such a title.  However, as a mathematician' (the ' distinguishes me from a "real" mathematician), I have a special affinity for infinity.  In nearly every area of mathematics, infinity shows up.  And we all love infinity.  It's a beautiful idea that makes the puzzle pieces fit perfectly and allows us to explain things and talk about huge ideas.  Hardly a week in any upper level math class goes by without hearing the phrase "as x goes to infinity."  I absolutely love infinity and can even explain the two most common levels of infinity, along with a short tale of Georg Cantor who first discovered the different levels.  But that's getting off topic.  


I've come to realize that in my life, perfection is a type of infinite destination.  I thought of this today as I was eating dinner.  I really enjoyed my meal.  This is going to sound arrogant, but I'm a fairly decent chef' (the ' is distinguish myself from someone who is a "real" chef and has had formal training, which I have no had).  And most of the food I make is (in my opinion) around an 8/10.  However, most food I eat is around an 8/10.  I really enjoy most of the foods that I eat.  On the rare occasion, I've had a 9 or 9.5 out of 10.  But I enjoy so many foods that no food exists that is supremely higher than all the others.  I don't believe that I've ever eaten anything that was 10/10.  In fact, few things in my life can I truly consider 10/10.  This isn't a bad thing, it's just a matter of how I perceive life.  See, for me 10/10 is similar to infinity.  It's this idea that we talk about... but you can never actually get there.  You can't count to infinity, you cannot walk there, you cannot heart it or taste it.  You can't even truly imagine it because our brains have finite capabilities.  


One of my new favorite ways of thinking about infinity is in terms of "parallel universes."  My very fundamental understanding of this theory is that we currently live in one universe, but there are an infinite number of universes that are very similar to it.  For instance, there is a parallel universe in which no one landed on the moon.  And a universe in which I was never born.  And a universe where the Germans won WW2.  In fact, there is even a universe where everything is exactly the same as this one... except instead of 2 pens sitting on my desk there are 3.  And another in which there are 4.  And one in which I only use pencils.  In fact, there is a universe in which the only difference is that one sub-atomic particle in my left eye moves slightly differently.  Literally every possible combination of events (most of which we could never even possibly detect).  


Anyhow.  Perfection is like infinity to me.  A journey, not a destination.  In mathematics, you always refer to "going to infinity."  You never talk about what happens when you get to infinity because you never do.  Mathematics has taught me to be very cautious about extremes... because in maths extremes are very literal and very powerful.  Words like "always" literally mean "this thing will work for every possible conceivable case that someone could ever contrive, from now until the end of time."  And "never" literally means "there is not even one remote and extremely contrived example in which this thing will happen."  When I think of perfection, I think of it in this level of extremity.  Perfect (to me) literally means "not one part of this could get even arbitrarily better."  That's powerful.  Why do I think nothing conceivable is perfect?  Because humans aren't perfect and we can't think of everything.  


If you were to tell my tacos were perfect, that (to me) would imply that we could dedicate the rest of our lives and the lives of every person who will ever live after us to trying to improve the tacos I created.  And if people try from now until the end of time, they will never ever make a better taco.  That's what I think of when I imagine "perfection."  And quite frankly... there does not exist any solitary, continuous or discrete object that is perfect.  I really enjoy a lot of things.  In fact, most things I would rate above a 5 (5 being average).  But nothing that I have ever seen has been a 10.  There is no physically flawless human being, no ultimately wise person, no mystical hamburger.  But you know what?  I like that about life.  I like that nothing can be perfect because it takes a lot of pressure off of things.  I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that truly do experience things on all ranges from 1 to 10... and that they truly do experience things that are absolutely mind blowing and could never be better.  That's lovely!  I'm really happy for them.  But I am not jealous.   There are so many beautiful things in this life.  And I think there's a lot of beauty in imperfection.  This almost sparked another rant... but I just got really tired.  So the end of this lecture.  Thank you all for listening.  I have no idea whether that all made sense like it did in my head... but I have just accepted that words may or may not come out like I want them to.


In other news, I added a new recipe!  It's for salmon!  Or you can just click the tab at the top of the page.


Anyhow.  It's bed time.  Good night!

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