Everything seems like it's in a whirl of chaos and motion. I don't really feel like I have any idea what's going on, but I suppose I just keep on pushing through it? It's funny... when Kimmy and Krissi and I were heading back from getting my tux today, I commented how strange it is that people typically spend so much money on weddings but can't wait for the wedding to be over.
Anyhow, the day was spent running errands, getting things done, and trying not to freak out. We had a rehearsal and everything was fine. I think it will all work out.
This has all been very hard for me to handle. On one side, I have a wedding where I have largely not been involved with many details but am still part of the main event. I am in charge but not in control. On the other hand, I have everything going on with the house (which has been made much easier because of my family and our future landlord who has been so very helpful through all of this), between figuring out all the utilities, our financial situation for next year... and all of that. I am control but not in charge. Admittedly, I like being in control and in charge. It's safe. I know how my brain works and if I have to plan something, I trust myself to get everything done. I have a difficult time putting a lot of trust in people when I'm not sure how they work. I'm coming to realize that this is one of the reasons I so enjoy trying to truly understand people. It's easier for me to feel close and trusting with them.
We've also had a few more people cancel this week. I think in the past week I had 8 people say they wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding. Which makes me sad. There are a lot of things I wish I could have been done differently. But I guess it's about over now.
I guess this will be my last update as an unmarried man. I can't describe how excited I am. But it's going to be a crazy transition.
I don't know. Something will happen. There's just a lot going on right now.
I'm going to bed. And we'll see how tomorrow works out!
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