I got up this morning at 9:15, ate, showered, and went to go watch dad's soccer team. They had a scrimmage. It didn't go so well. :/ Dad was less than amused by their playing. When he got home we discussed it all in depth over lunch. I made chili dogs. They were pretty good. But yeah, dad's team has some work to do. We discussed starting JV players, rearranging people, benching people who weren't trying in practice, and various combinations therein. I think we decided on something... or something. We'll see!
After lunch dad took his Saturday Afternoon Nap, a classic Pagano maneuver. I played Just Cause. Around 2 I did some packing and dad woke up. I packed for most of the rest of the afternoon. Around 3:30 I made dough for pizza. Then... I probably browsed Reddit while pretending to pack. That's a favorite pastime of mine.
After mom got home I finished making the pizza. I learned something very important: water that is a bit too warm kills the yeast. So... that went well.
When dinner was over and we'd dispatched of the pizza that didn't turn out so well, I went to George House to get some spices. I got cilantro, lemon pepper, minced onions, and taco seasoning. Then I went over to Hobby Lobby. Mom thought she'd left her phone there. So I talked with Jim and we went to the break room to look for it. But it was no where to be found. When I was done there I went to visit the grandparents and get the shirts that mama tailored for me. They fit really well now. I sat around we talked for a while. We discussed the job market, how and why jobs are getting outsourced, social security and what it was like growing up in the pre-SS days of the Depression, why colleges cost so much money (and why they're never going to change it), debt and loans (and how those didn't really exist as much during the depression), how college didn't really get big until after world war 2 when men were coming back from the war and there were too many people but no jobs, how a master's degree is becoming the new bachelor's degree, saving money, and all sorts of good stuff. I enjoy talking with them.
On the way home I stopped to get ice cream for the dump cake mom made. I went to Great Scot, but they were closed. I've always been frustrated by Findlay closing at 9. Blah. So then I went to Wal-mart and got ice cream. I came home and we had tasty desert.
I almost went back out to take a walk downtown. I really debated doing it for quite some time. I've never walked down Main Street Findlay at night, and I feel like it's something that I should do. I've lived in Findlay all my life and many times I have considered wandering the main street and alleys. But I never have. I feel like I've missed something incredibly important from Findlay by not doing so. But walking Main Street won't give me the closure I need. I've never been good at transitions. They always hit me hard and leave me wanting answers.... even though I rarely know the questions. It finally came to me last night that I'm leaving Findlay tomorrow. Not just in the sense that I'm going to school. When I went to Mount Vernon about four years ago, I knew that Findlay would still be home while I was at school. I had four years to determine my next steps, during which Findlay would always be home. But now it is starting to feel less so like home. After I graduate from Ball State I will hopefully be getting a job and starting a career. I'll find an apartment and get a job with people who are trying to figure life out, just like I am. Or perhaps they have resolved to just sustaining themselves, not actually living. Anyways, I feel like after I leave, Findlay might not feel like home anymore. Which is weird to me. I know a lot of my friends are moving on with life, getting jobs and everything, but I don't know that I'm quite ready. I think I should be and I certainly want to get a job and such... but I don't know whether I'm emotionally ready for it. But I never feel like I'm ready for a transition, so this really is no different. I feel like every transition I make is rushed so I have to sort out my emotions before they're ready... which leaves residue for the next transition I make. Perhaps everyone is this way. Or perhaps other people don't really make as big of a deal of it and this is just part of being human. I don't know. Maybe some day I'll sort it all out. Or maybe I won't. Time will tell.
I'm going to be doing my best to keep this updated while I'm at grad school. I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm going to bed now. Good night everyone.
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